Grown-Up Christmas List

My Christmas list this year - the version I gave to Joel - was the most "grown-up" than it has ever been. Rather than asking for gift cards for clothes or shoes like normal, the number one item was "Go out for a nice dinner together."

It may sound odd to you, but I mean it. Every day I realize more how time is a valuable thing and I don't spend enough of it with my loved ones. Especially Joel. I'd love the gift of time with all my family and friends, but first and foremost to me is time with Joel.

So, Santa, more than any wrapped package under the tree, bring me an evening where Joel and I can sit down together, enjoy a leisurely face-to-face conversation instead of on the phone and the luxury of wonderful food that I do not have to prepare or clean up.

Two side notes:
Joel also had a grown-up Christmas list for me. First on his was "international travel" and the second was "a baby." He is getting neither. :)

I'm granting my own wish and spending a few extra days with my family. However the list I gave them also included sweaters, accessories and other "things" that weren't on the list for Joel.

Like It Used to Be

I'm not a morning person. Never have been, probably never will be. My better half (Joel) is, and used to be my wake-up call. Now I'm re-learning how to be self-sufficent since Joel is working third shift and sleeping when I get up.

My usual workday morning:

6:40 a.m. First phone alarm, "light," starts going off, gently signaling I need to wake up. I reach over from where I lay in the middle of the bed towards the night stand and hit snooze, then drift off until it sounds again 10 minutes later. Repeat hitting snooze and drifting off at least twice more.

7:05 a.m. Second phone alarm, "instance," punctuates the air, theoretically indicating I need to get up NOW. Wish Joel were there. Reach over and hit snooze. Repeat.

7:20 a.m. Lay in bed, awake, and determine how long I can stay warm under the covers. Try not to fall back asleep. Depending on the morning, I may get up 10 minutes later, or 30 minutes later. Lately, it's been closer to 30 minutes.

7:50 a.m. to 8:40 a.m.(ish)Do my hair, pick out and put on clothes, apply makeup, pack gym clothes (if needed), make cup of coffee, pack lunch, run back to room for cell phone or some other forgotten item, turn off lights, frantically get in car and hurry to work.

This morning, however, was glorious. It was like it used to be. Joel had to take Deanna to the airport for a quick trip to South Carolina, so he stayed awake when he got home from work.

6:40 a.m. First phone alarm, "light," starts going off, gently signaling I need to wake up. I reach over from where I lay in the middle of the bed towards the night stand and hit snooze, then drift off until it sounds again 10 minutes later. Repeat hitting snooze and drifting off.

7 a.m. Joel comes into the room, gives me a kiss on the cheek and rubs my back, wishing me good morning. I mumble a "good morning" back, half asleep but happy.

7:15 a.m. Joel comes back into the room, turns a bedside lamp on, rubs my back again. Encourages me to get up, which I seriously consider.

7:20 a.m. Throw off the covers and start getting ready. Joel brings me a cup of coffee and I give him a huge hug.

8:20 a.m. Pack my lunch, give Joel another hug and head out the door, mentally singing Christmas carols. Wish every day could be like this again.

Culinary School

Every so often I get on these kicks where I want to take classes to learn other skills.

I'm fascinated by hair and the endless possibilities with cuts and colors. Every so often, I want to go to cosmetology school to learn different tricks and techniques for doing hair. Plus, I'd get discounts on products, find new ideas for my own hair and have the ability to help with others.

After one cosmetology phase I was inspired by countless shows on HGTV - I couldn't get over the amazing transformations that took place by these designers! So I wanted to take some interior design classes. About that time we also bought our house, so I had actual rooms to work with! Decorating still inspires me, especially as I chip away at making our home everything I envision.

However my main obsession right now is food and cooking. I love all things Food Network - their shows, their recipes - and have also started checking out food magazines from the library. So it follows that my latest desire is to go to culinary school. Not that I want to become a chef - I'm content in my current profession. I enjoy cooking when I have time, and would like to be even better. I would love to be able to cook like a true chef for my family and friends. I would love to know how to use the vast array of ingredients available and make amazing and delectable dishes.

We'll see, maybe I'll take a culinary class or two, just for fun. Or maybe I'll just keep watching the Food Network and experimenting with recipes until my next obsession.

Being a Third Shift Wife

About a year ago Joel went from part-time second and third shift work to full time second shift. We were excited about it being full time, and adjusted our schedules a bit for his Sunday to Thursday, 3 pm to 11 pm schedule. I got permission to start a little later and stay a little later at work. Being a night owl, I had no problem waiting up nearly every night to see him after work, and he being a morning person, got up with me in the mornings.

It was sometimes difficult being a second shift wife. It meant there were a lot of evenings to myself and get-togethers with friends I went to solo. We tried to connect at least once during the day by phone, so it wasn't just a 'hi' in the morning and 'good night' in the evening until the weekend came. In the end, we made it work because we had to.

Joel was recently told he would need to move from second shift to third shift: instead of 3 pm to 11 pm, he would be working 9 pm to 5 am. Last night was his first official shift on third, so I'm not quite sure yet what it means to be a third shift wife.

On the plus side, we'll now get to see each other at dinnertime and there may be some social things that we can go to together before he has to work. And most importantly, he still has a job, and for that we are very grateful.

On the other hand, this change means Joel and I will have to do things that don't come naturally. He'll have to stay awake at night and sleep during the day. I'll be on my own in the morning, and even need to get up earlier to try and see him.

I expect this to be a difficult transition, but it is not the first challenge Joel and I have faced together. We made it work through long distance while we were dating and then engaged, a single income while we waiting for his visa, then his part-time work and finally working full time second shift. And now we'll figure something out for third shift.

Next Stop...Iceland

It's official: we are going to Iceland for four days late October. Yes, Iceland. The island in the North Atlantic Ocean next to Greenland with a population of about 320,000.

What does one do in Iceland? A variety of things, but here is what we are thinking:

1. Hike. Take advantage of the natural beauty and see waterfalls and hopefully the foothills of a volcano (probably not the one that erupted earlier this year).

2. Enjoy the thermal springs. We sampled these in New Zealand and while they smell bad (due to the sulfur), it felt wonderful. The natural hot water should feel perfect in the fall.

3. See the spectacular Northern Lights.

4. Tour Reykjavik, the capital.

5. Visit Great Geysir, the oldest known geyser in the world.

Determined to Lose

Weight is something all women struggle with, wether they admit or not. At some point or another we have all tried to lose, maintain or in some cases - gain weight. And it's always an uphill battle.

After gaining the freshman 15 in college, I joined Weight Watchers and successfully lost the extra weight I'd put on as well as some additional weight I'd always wanted to lose. Most importantly, I learned how to eat smart: correct portion control, what a real healthy diet was, to drink lots of water, that I can say 'yes' to some things and adjust to allow for that choice, etc. In addition to working out regularly, eating smart has just become part of how I live, so I've maintained about the same weight for the past eight or nine years.

Sometimes I'm a few pounds heavier, sometimes I'm a few pounds lighter. As long as my clothes still fit, I don't worry about it too much. About the only time I weigh myself using a scale is at my annual physical.

Last week I had the annual physical with my new doctor and found I was on the high end of the range I've maintained, which was a bit disheartening. While I would like to think that their scale is off, I'm going to put extra effort into making smart food choices and spend a little more time at the gym the next few weeks. I'm determined to lose those extra few pounds that crept on!

Rediscovering Joy

At church this morning with some friends, the sermon was on joy. Real joy - the kind that bubbles up from your soul like natural hot springs - not the general happiness that's so dependent on our feelings and circumstances. We looked at Paul, who was always joyful, yet his life was filled with troubles.

As the pastor spoke, I thought of the hours I spent yesterday in our front garden. After weeks of neglect and lots of rain, some of my flowers were barely visible amongst all the weeds. Armed with a trowel, gloves and a folded sheet for my knees, I did battle and reclaimed the area for my plants. To prevent the weeds from coming back, we covered the area with mulch.

It was hot and dirty work, but it was totally gratifying to rid the beds of weeds and put the focus back on the colorful blooms.

The past few months have been a season of work, which has made me weary - the kind of weariness that goes all the way to the depths of your soul. There has been little creative thought, let alone joy. And I'm tired of that. I miss the unstoppable, unexplainable joy bubbling in my soul.

So I'm going to work on reclaiming the garden of my soul from the weeds that have taken over and put the focus on what really matters.

Swimming Lesson

For the Holiday Happenings program at my gym, East Hills/the MAC, I won a free swimming lesson. At first I was disappointed for two reasons: 1. I would need to be in a suit and 2. I'm not a great swimmer. I also had my eyes on the $100 spa giftcard or maybe a discount at the gym's clothing shop. After the initial disapointment of not getting a free trip to a spa, I decided it was a good prize because I could use the help in becoming a better swimmer.

Still, the idea of having an instructor watch me, a 28-year-old who can swim only well enough to not drown, is daunting. I haven't had a great track record with swimmng lessons.

I remember my first lesson at age 4 as clearly as I remember the taste of my mother-in-law's buttercake, which I ate five minutes ago. It's a vivid memory because I almost died.

I had watched my older sister, Julie, take swimming lessons for years from the metal bleachers at the Grand Ledge High School pool. I had watched my sister learn all kinds of strokes from a nice instructor also named Julie, and pass from one level to the next to the next. On the afternoon of my first "beginner" lesson, I was excited beyond belief for it to be my turn in the pool instead of the bleachers. After watching so many lessons, I figured I would be a natural. I would be the best student, swimming effortlessly while all the other kids struggled along. We were lined up in the water in the shallow end, holding the edge with one hand and our kickboards with the other. Julie, the same instructor, stood at the end. She was talking, and I just wanted to start swimming. I was so excited, I let go of the wall and just held on with one hand to the kickboard. I didn't notice, but I drifted out a bit from the wall. Then in my excitment, I let go of the kickboard.

And realized I wasn't a natural swimmer. Instead, I started to sink. I didn't know to kick my legs or pump my arms. I was straight as a pin and did the only thing that made sense: I raised my hand. The water closed in over my head. Luckily I had the sense to close my eyes and hold my breath, and leave my arm in the air. My feet probably hit the bottom of the shallow end, but my head remained under water. It felt like an eternity, but eventually I felt someone grab my hand and pull me out of the water by my arm. I gasped in air to my oxygen-deprived lungs, thankful to be alive.

Instructor Julie had jumped in the pool to save me, and quickly lifted me out of the water. Scared out of my mind at the near-death experience, I started crying. My mom had come over from the bleachers, wrapped me in a towel and hugged me close. No longer excited about swimming lessons, I begged to go home. Mom agreed.

It took me a couple years before I was brave enough to go back to swimming lessons. The second round of beginner swim lessons was a total embarrassment. Helpful, but embarrassing. By that point I was tall enough to stand in the shallow end and have my head above water. This was the key piece for me to agree to go back to the GL death pool. While I was glad about this, it was embarrassing to be the oldest and tallest of the kids in the beginner class. Other kids my age were two or three levels beyond beginners.

Also, Julie, the same one that had pulled me out of the water, was the instructor. And boy, did she remember me.

The real kicker? I failed beginner swimming lessons, because I wasn't consistent in breathing right in freestyle. At that point I told my parents I was a decent swimmer, and done with swimming lessons.

Until now.

The Separation of Work and Home

I believe in the separation of work and home. When I'm in my office, I work. And I work hard. When I'm home, I want to be free to be me and do what I want.

I'd much rather stay late at the office than leave on time and bring work home. That way when I do leave, I can just relax and work out, watch TV, hang out with Joel or friends, check Facebook or play spider solitaire. I can be there 100% in mind and body. I don't have a nagging reminder in the back of my mind to carve out time to finish something for work.

I like what I do, but I also like the feeling that comes when you've worked hard all day and are then free to go play.

Happy Birthday Dad

It's my dad's birthday today. I called to wish him a happy birthday, and I wish I would have recorded the conversation. It was classic Leon humor.

To mark this birthday, he bought a taller toilet for their master bath. Apparently he and my mom were lamenting the fact that they put a taller one in at their old house before they sold it, and now they have the standard height. He's going to install the taller toilet today and surprise my mom. I confessed I'm considering putting a new vaccum on my Christmas list. We had a couple laughs about growing older and buying practical things like toilets and vaccums as gifts.

You probably had to be part of the conversation, but take my word, from there is where it got really funny. We talked about the cards that sing when you open them, and wondered if you could do the same type thing to the toilet seat cover. So when you lift it up, it would sing or say something. Like "happy birthday" or "happy mother's day" or "good morning" or the Rise and Shine song.

Just imagine getting up in the night, or groggily stumbling into the bathroom in the morning - and then you heard a voice when you were about to pee. What would you do? Freak out probably. Well, my mom is rather jumpy, and if you did that to her, she would probably go through the ceiling - or the door cartoon-style. The mental picture of that was hilarious. My dad was hooting - that's what he does when he laughs really hard - and I was literally crying with laughter.

Part of my laughter was there is a chance my dad would do something like that. And I kind of want him to.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Happy birthday, dad.

The Budget Committee Meeting

Communication is key in any relationship, but especially so in a marriage. I think Joel and I do a fairly good job of communicating, thanks in part to months of long distance dating where words were our only source of connecting. In the area of finances though, we haven't talked much. Joel is a fantastic money manager while I just get by, so until recently I let him worry about the details of our finaces. He pays all the bills, is responsible for saving, managing investments, etc. We discuss major purchases, but both just try to make reasonable decisions about smaller purchases.

To support my sister and improve my money-management skills, I joined a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University course through our church. Using Ramsey's terms, Joel is the "nerd" who saves and likes to budget; I am the "free spirit" who likes to spend and not bother with details. Just two weeks into the course, it has stretched me to start caring about budgets, expenses, savings/emergency funds, etc. It has opened my eyes to the importance of being a team when it comes to fiances and spurred numerous conversations between Joel and I.

Last night we had our first "budget committee meeting" to determine our budget for the next few months. With the budget worksheet in front of us and pencil in hand, we looked at our income vs. expenses. We erased numbers, scribbled in new ones, circled areas and drew arrows to others when things didn't add up. We argued about priorities, voiced fears, and shared a triumphant high-five when the budget was finally done. It was one of the most difficult conversations we've had in our marriage thus far. But oddly enough, I think it is also one of the most beautiful conversations we've had.

Thankful

It isn't time for Thanksgiving - American (November 26) or Canadian (October 12) - but I am feeling thankful today.

Thankful for
...God's grace and love, which never cease to amaze me
...my family, as disfunctional as we are
...my wonderful husband, who loves me - good, bad and strange habits included
...awesome friends - each unique and fabulous, who inspire me
...a good job, one that allows us to not only pay bills, but help others and have fun
...our beautiful home, and all the good memories I already have there and all the ones to come

I am blessed.

Snapshots of Life

I realized earlier this week that next week is already September. Wow. It seems like it should still be the beginning of August. How did I lose three weeks of time without really noticing? So I'm going to try and be more deliberate about pausing to appreciate the snapshots of life.

My favorite snapshot was first thing this morning. I had rolled out of bed and walked into the bathroom, and was brought to a stop by the beautiful scene out our window.

The sky was a bright, midnight blue. Not quite black and not quite blue, like it is right before or after a huge storm. Against this dark backdrop was a cluster of trees. What caught my eye was one brightly illuminated tree. The sunlight was hitting the top of the tallest tree like a spotlight with lasor-beam focus, giving an intensity to the green leaves like I've never seen. It was beautiful.

It lasted only a few seconds, then the sunlight went behind the clouds. The tall treetop when back to it's normal shade of green, like all the other trees.

I was glad I had caught that moment in time, that moment of beauty.

Left, Right or Middle?

Are you a left, right or middle?

Not in your political views...where in the bed you sleep.

The side of the bed doesn't matter much to me. But it matters to Joel. He prefers the left* side, which means I get the right* side of the bed.

But on nights when Joel works third shift, I've started sleeping in the middle. Or I sleep with my head on the right side, and my body diagonal so my feet are on the left side.

I'm sure it looks hilarious, especially when I sleep diagonal. But I figure that if it's just me in our big king bed, I might as well take advantage of the space!

*Note: Sides are based on if you're standing at the foot of the bed looking at the headboard.

It's Never Simple

Progress on the house continues, although the changes aren't as obvious as they were in the beginning.

Upstairs it's been mostly detail work, like replacing doorknobs. I still need to hang curtains, put pictures and art on the wall as well as tables. Everything now looks nice, but void of these decor things, it lacks the "lived in" touch.

Downstairs is still a construction zone. The fairly simple bathroom project ended up being a bigger project than anticipated. We started off adding a chair rail and painting, and getting a new light fixture. But the darker red wall color combined with the new vanity light fixture, made the shower area a little dark. The simple solution was to add a ceiling fan with a light. Except the light/fan combinations are bigger than just fans, so Joel had to cut a big hole in the ceiling dry wall to move it over, add a new anchor to hold it to the floor joists, and replace the dry wall. It's just never as simple as you expect!

My task this week is to unpack the boxes of books onto our bare bookshelves, and start unpacking the boxes of photo albums and picture frames.

One Room (Almost) Done

"Moving in" boxes and furniture took us one day. The real work of moving in - the cleaning, unpacking, organzing - is taking a lot longer. Initially I had visions of having at least two or three rooms done by now. But I quickly realized that there are more steps involved in the moving in process, and that things move at a slower pace when you work full time.

So I've changed my view of the house to a work in progress. Ignore the chaos of boxes, paint supplies, tools, furniture, ladders, and cleaning supplies scattered around. Just focus on the one room. And after a couple day's work on the kitchen, I'm proud to announce that its mostly done!

All the insides of the cupboards are wiped out and the wooden doors freshed up with Old English. All the boxes unloaded, all the dishes washed and put away. I can't tell you the total number of cupboards I cleaned, the boxes I unpacked, or the number of loads I ran through the dishwasher or washed by hand, but there were a lot of them. At one point I thought about counting, but decided it was better off not knowing.

The final step is washing the floors and windows, and painting the doors, then it's really done.

Weekend 2 Update

This past weekend we made good progress thanks to the extra help from my mom and dad, who came and helped Friday night and all day Saturday. My "to-do" list is always longer than what we have time for, but we were able to complete the top priorities:

-Wipe all wood trim in office and master with Old English wood polish.
-Replace the door handles on the front door, door from the garage to the kitchen, and the door from the kitchen to the deck.
-Rekey all locks.
-Replace light fixtures in master bedroom, eating area, and basement.
-Replace electrical outlets and faceplates in master bedroom.
-Spackle gashes and gouges in guest room; sand down and repaint walls.
-Prime laundry room.

We also did a few things I hadn't planned on - like fixing the door from the master to the deck and giving the front door a fresh coat of paint before putting the new hardware on it. My dad, "Mr. Fix It," also investigated the problem with the icemaker/water dispenser on the fridge.

The other major thing we did this weekend was moving our big items to the house. Joel and I made two trips with the moving truck; one to the storage unit and one to the other house. Besides some select clothes, bathroom and kitchen items, everything is at the house.

The office and the master are done, with the exception of the doors. Those still need to be repainted. Our goal is to finish off the guest room and laundry room yet today or tomorrow. After that, we'll move into the more public areas of the main floor: hallway, living room and kitchen. The hallway and living room will just get touch-ups. The kitchen is transforming to a whole new color (green sprout).

We are making progress, I remind myself when the amount of "to dos" outweigh the "completed" items. Slowly but surely.

Picking Paint

To help the house fit our style and personality, we're repainting some of the rooms. The fun part of repainting is looking at the seemingly endless rainbow of paint colors to choose from. It's like a super-sized box of crayola crayons: tupelo tree, front porch gray, waterscape...there are shades of colors I never even imagined.

Joel and I are earth tone people, so we're all about greens, blues and browns. Since most of the common areas upstairs are already shades of brown and beige, we're going to do blues and greens in the other rooms. But while I know what general color I want in each room, I'm finding picking specific paint colors to be more difficult than I thought it would be. Will this shade be too dark? Too light? Too much of a yellow undertone? I've found the Sherwin Williams room visualizer to be an incredibly helpful tool. But even with that, I knew I would need to test the paint chip in the actual room. How does the color look with that exact room's natural light? Artificial light? Morning sunlight? Evening sunset? I want the paint color to be perfect.

Armed with a handful of paint chips, I spent at least a half hour in the office and then the kitchen, deliberating the fate of the room's color. I started in the office. I held up the post-it size swatches to each wall in the natural light. Then turned on the artifical light and tested on each wall again. Narrowed it from six to four. Turned the light off. Turned the light on. Narrowed it down from four to two. Recircled the room. Changed my mind and swapped one color for one I had discarded. Turned the light off. Turned the light on. Recircled the room. Narrowed it down to one. Recircled the room. Changed my mind. Turned the light off. Turned the light on. Circled a final time. Went to the kitchen and went through the same process. Then came back to the office and recircled with my final selection: tidewater. It's a light blue with gray undertones.

The best I could do with the kitchen was narrow it down to two colors: great green or ryegrass. Tonight I'll have to make the final decision.

Weekend 1 Update

We spent the first of what I think will be many weekends working on our house. With just a week before moving in the big furniture, we're focusing on the office and the master bedroom since those needed the most work.

Friday morning Joel rented a steamer for 24 hours to remove wallpaper. He started around 9:30 a.m. and worked until about noon, managing to take off almost all the wallpaper in the office. I came after work around 6:30 p.m. and removed the rest of in the office (goodbye country landscape) as well as the border (good riddance big flowers) in the master bedroom. I was determined to not leave until all the wallpaper was gone, so Joel came back around 10:30 p.m. after work and together we removed the downstairs bathroom wallpaper (farewell black and white aztec design).

Saturday Joel rolled out of bed by 7:30 a.m. to get the steamer back before 8:10 a.m. He picked up a bunch of paint supplies and was over to the house around 10 a.m. I met up with him about the same time, after making a stop for some supplies myself - and some much needed coffee. I washed the walls while Joel spackled, filling in holes upstairs and down. We called it quits shortly after noon in order to hang out with friends.

Sunday was the marathon day. I worked solo for most of it, since Joel had to work from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. I washed the rest of the walls and then put a skim coat of spackle on the gouges and patches where the drywall showed through. By the time I was done, the office looked like the face of a teenager with acne cream. The master bedroom had less spots; instead it had a long white racing stripe of spackle to fix where the border had been. When Joel arrived around 6 p.m., the spackle was dry so we sanded it down. By the time we were done, we were covered in a layer of white powder. Joel's dark brown hair looked gray. After a quick wipe-down, the walls were ready. I went to work with blue painters tape along the window, doorways and trim in the office. Joel primed the office walls while I started taping the master closet. We called it quits around 11 p.m. when he was done priming.

We worked hard, but it felt good. With every step it feels more and more like "ours" and less like the former owners.

Today's the Day

Today's the day our house really becomes ours. After work we're going to get the keys from the former owners, and claim it for ourselves by unloading the first of many boxes.

Our house. It feels strange and yet exciting to say that!

Joel and I are as giddy as kids on Christmas morning.